How do I feel?
I live and travel extensively in the Philippines war against women and I carry weapons. It’s not about, “if i will be raped”, it’s about when the next attack will come. With a gun I will prevent that.
The war against women has spread to the United States and sisters, you have no idea how bad it can get. Come with me and deliver babies of the rape survivors from Myanmar and hear their stories. It’s a tale coming to your neighbourhood soon.
I for one will tear apart the patriarch’s insistence on the silent obedience and unquestioning compliance women must abide without question, when a man wants them. Didn’t you see that on Brett Kavanaugh’s face as he ripped the US Senate a new one?
I train physically and am somewhat prepared. But I still carry a weapon.
Since the First Time I was Raped
I wasn’t prepared for the first time I was raped. I lost my virginity to a rapist who forced me down like Dr. Ford describes of Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s behaviour. It was five years ago, not decades ago. The nightmares stay with me.
Three attacks happened since, one in my very early thirties, and before that, two in my twenties.
I repelled those three attacks harshly using physical force. I could have and should have beat the hell out of the attacker but I had a baby so I violently repelled the attacks with my punches and kicks and did not give chase. That would have been dangerous I am told. I now teach that and I once taught against the use of violence under any circumstance, before I stopped being a wimp.
That has now changed for me since my country and the USA has elected a rapist and misogynist for president, each of whom are adding more rapists and misogynists to their country’s quasi board of directors (Cabinet) and their Courts.
You get hurt fighting off an attacker. That’s a lesson of Dr. Ford’s Case
I was a little messed up with cuts and bruises each time I had to fight an attacker from raping me but I was feeling grateful about not having this rabid dog inside me.
I decided never again, will I be raped. I can’t talk about everything that happened but pretty much all the risks that can happen came true. Rape is no joke.
“Next time, I will kill the rapist. That’s what I think and how I feel. Why should I be angry with myself like most women? I will kill the next bastard who tries to rape me.”
Being forced down and sexually molested still makes me feel like a piece of stinking crap. And angry. My family is angry too, at me. In my country, a raped girl brings shame to her family and tribe if she speaks out. That must change.
But my horrible anxiety attacks, and occasional moments of absolute dysfunction have come to an end now that I have decided to kill or maim the next miscreant who tries to take my life away from me.
The Feelings are hard to put into words.
Maybe it is because women do not report that there are no good words in any language, and I speak four, that help one explain these feelings. I really can’t.
It’s hard to explain. Getting raped is the ultimate in being a nothing. I have worked in a cardiac ward and I see the lonliness of patients who will die from heart failure. Rape survivors are more alone than that. They can’t really tell anyone. Look what happened to Dr. Ford.
The rapist just wants to be powerful and show they don’t care about their victim’s existence or if she is made pregnant and left alone or gets a disease the rapist doesn’t even know they are infected with– or they do know…
Rapists tend to be disease-ridden because rapists rape often. Rape is violent and a transfer of blood takes place because the woman gets torn. I don’t need to explain that.
Rape can be a death sentence for the victim. It often is.
Following this fiasco in Washington that sent the status of women to the bottom of the outdoor commode, there will be many suicides across America as a result of rape survivors discovering the hopelessness of their situation. There will also be a spike in the number of rapes. I have seen that before because I have worked as a volunteer on rape hotlines for America.
Here in the Philippines, rape often means you suffer and die. First of all, if you speak out, like go to the police, they will rape you again. In some regions your family will kill you. It’s called honour killing and many tribes believe a raped woman has brought shame to the Barrangay and to the tribe and family.
Kids and women are disappearing.
Otherwise, a disease will get you and if not the rapist will kill you to prevent you from telling. The morgues have been filled with over 28,000 unexplained death when the rapist-in-chief of the Philippines came to power. Yes, even the President encourages rape and the killing of women who tell.
The Status of Women is Plummeting
More and more there are good humanitarians like the current Secretary General of the United Nations, who strive for gender equality and the safety of women and children, there are more powerful and very sick men who take this in another direction to marginalize all females.
Though women tend to live longer, the ratio of men to women is now higher. That was once the other way around. All over Asia and even in America, men outnumber women.
Women are now devalued as humans.
Don’t you wonder why thousands of women in the USA are loudly taking to the streets over the recent candidate selection for US Supreme Court?
Another question. Don’t you think most women can spot a rapist?
Getting raped is the ultimate in feeling like nothing. Or worse.
Rest assured that sister Ford could not and would not be telling her story if the rapist had got past the bathing suit and got his hands into her as he struggled against her thrashing to get his penis inside her.
Rape goes that way. One gets torn up, down there, inside, as he uses his claws to force her open and she fights to resist.
Ever since Donald Trump came along, America has been radiating horrible rape triggers like a septic tank issues stink.
Dr. Christine Blasey Ford was a kid. she behaved as a kid would and did not tell until much later in life. She told her story before dipshit became a candidate for the Supreme Court so how could she
Annie, Get Your Gun
Dr. Ford, had she been a grown woman like me when I was raped, should have killed that smarmy rapist pig. That’s my opinion. Then thousands of women would not be feeling the triggered panic attacks of her public allegations against political hack, Brett Kavanaugh. I mean this guy will now cause many suicides and much grief.
I have watched repeatedly Dr. Ford’s video recorded testimony and while I understand the memory penalty of the huge time lapse, I get the drift. Of course I believe her.
Mr. Kavanaugh has a pattern of behaviour that paints him as an entitled, sexist pig. Be real. That’s how it stands. I watched his testimony on video before the Senate Judicial Committee. He is outraged that He is such a misogynist. He is beyond redemption. I know my colleague Melissa Hemingway believes in counseling for people like that but in my opinion, it is a miracle some women did not shoot him in self defense already. Better change your minds ladies. Carry a gun.
Don’t tell me I am a Democrat or a Republican. I am neither. I am not an American, thank God. I am a woman who will never be raped again, not alive anyway.
Why the thanks to the almighty I am not American? You don’t choose where you are born.
But those disgusting men in the US Senate imply with their behaviour that a girl must recognise that there are two things she cannot do:
1.) She cannot say, “No”.
2.) She must not tell.
Disgusting men in the US Senate are saying that the heart-wrenching account of sexual violence against a woman, Dr. Ford’s evidence, is all about some kind of political ploy. They don’t see that the appointment of more sexually violent offenders and misogynists to high places in their country will destroy the United States. Do you really want to alienate haf the electorate? Do so at your own peril.
It’s the Democrats, they all say. Who are these horrid democrats anyway? If they are talking about Hillary Clinton, she is out of a job and sitting at home wishing she hadn’t married a Republican philanderer. Or a Democratic sex offender. Which is he? What the hell is the difference? A male sex offender is a male sex offender. Trust me when I say that if I must shoot an attacker, I am not going to start a conversation about their political stripes.
And who cares. No. It’s a sad story of a man, Brett Kavanaugh who allegedly tried to force his penis inside the vagina of somebody’s 15-year-old baby girl. The old fogies lost sight of that.
This is why I believe American women are in big danger and should carry guns. They don’t need to be large calibre. You can make a good sized hole in an attacker’s balls with a 25 calibre hand gun.
If you are under attack, take out your gun and shoot the attacker. That fast. Don’t brandish the firearm and demand he behave. Waste time and you are dead. Shoot immediately and shoot to stop the attack. Aim down at the widest parts and shoot immediately. You must stop the attack. Your mission is not to kill but to save your life.
Why I Didn’t Report is an Explanation of a Fault
Don’t worry. I do understand why women never tell. After what has just happened in the USA, no woman will ever come forward.
Many rapists are repeat offenders. Be prepared next time. Carry a gun.
What do you think? Write me.